Vanishing Point

I guess I’m really sick and tired of this. It’s starting to get really tiring and it is taking toll on my person as whole. Sure I don’t always think about it. Sure it’s probably a part of normal human life. Sure I’m still young and there’s still a lot of time. Knowing all that doesn’t change the way I feel, the way my heart feels. Some people can look at what this part of my looks like on the outside, but it is just that – superficial. The part that really matters is what is actually going on. Maybe I’m only able to see the ones that have what I want. For all I know, I could have involuntary selective sight – although the pairing of those two words seem like an oxymoron.

People say that things in life happen for a reason; and so I ask, what is the reason for this? I know that this is only one aspect of my life, but to me it is just as important as the others. My life, is still my life. One can have one thing, but not have the other. Happiness comes in different shapes and forms to everyone, but most manifest in a way where people are satisfied with what they have. People who are not satisfied with what they have, tend not to be happy people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very very happy with almost every part of my life. I’m very very grateful to have the life I have right now. I’m just not completely happy. I want that one thing that keeps escaping me time and time again. It’s only been three years since I last had it, but it’s left such a deep hole that I can’t seem to patch up. They say that no one can have everything they want in the world, does that mean I can’t have this? Will life continue to cheat me every time I seem to get close to a chance to patch the hole up? I guess only time can tell. The only problem is, time is passing too quickly, the opportunities vanishing along with it.

Long emo post – finished.