Click to Escape

It is nearing the middle of my last week of summer and I do not feel a bit relaxed. I wish I could have taken summer as a time for free time, but in the end it was only a semi-break from the workload of school. While most people have gone on vacations and relaxed during the summer, I was working, studying, or worrying about having not studied enough. Some people might view their summer as tiring because they are working, but at least there are green bills coming in on payday as a reward for working hard all those hours.

This does not mean I was studying and laboring my whole summer. I had some days where I hung out with friends or went to the beach. It was those days of the summer that I cherished the most. However, the "work" started from the beginning of summer. I was coming off a very bad second year. By bad, I meant academically. There was also some drama going on throughout the whole year - multiple ones. But mainly, what wrecked me was how I was performing in my classes. Because of this, I put myself in a do or die situation when summer started.

In order to have a chance of pulling myself back together, I had to sacrifice most of my free happy time in the summer. I will recount in a later blog post. In short for now, I had tests, internships, and preparation of applications and essays that I will be sending to pharmacy schools this coming semester. As this is the last week of summer for me, I have the PCAT coming up this saturday. Along with that are the applications and essays that my parents would like for me to finish before the end of summer.

I can admit this fact about myself without regrets. I am a procrastinator most of the time. I do not like to be, but I always end up procrastinating. In truth, I had the whole summer to write the essays and prepare my applications. I also had at LEAST one month to start studying and preparing for the PCAT. This saturday won't even be my first time taking the PCAT this summer. So now you can guess what comes next. Yes, I am squishing basically everything into this last week. In my defense, I did have an internship all of July and the first week of August that took up 15 hours of my day 3 days a week. However, I had 4 days each week to study or do some of my applications. Did I do that? Of course I didn't. I am only human after all.

So not much work got done. Even so, that does not mean I wasn't constantly thinking about the fact that I didn't get any work done the whole day. I was constantly bothered by the thought that time is running out and my parents will get to nagging me about it. All these thoughts swirl around in my brain creating a dense like fog - often causing restless nights. This leads me to my main point: sometimes I wish I could just press an escape key and do just that - escape.

When trying to work, I always find myself ending up doing something else. I might decide to organize my music (since I'm an organization freak), or even watch videos on youtube. If I run out of things to watch, then I keep checking the blogs I follow to see if theres anything I can read. The list goes on and on. My mind just doesn't seem to want to stay focus on the task at hand. I just want to escape, escape to a place where all I need to worry about is if there is enough time in the day to do whatever I want to do. Escape to a place where I can hang out with my friends at any time and any place. In a way isn't that what summer is supposed to be for? The beach, New York City, Taiwan. All three places are places that I wanted to escape to this summer.

*Snap* Back to reality. It is almost 1 am in the morning and as I look back at what I accomplished today, I am still disappointed. I have been more productive this week than I have been for the past month at least. However, for the amount of free time I have during the day, what I accomplished is rather pathetic. Despite my best efforts, I still find myself escaping to the internet or other things. I count the minutes until the designated time when my friend and I meet at the park to play some pick up basketball and volleyball. Time is definitely running out for me and running out fast. While half of my brain is frantic to get everything done and prepared for, the other half just wants to let go and what? Escape.

So where do you find yourself escaping to during the day? I am curious to see if I am the only one who feels this way. I'm quite sure I am not, but it is always interesting to hear what everyone else does when they aren't doing the work they are supposed to do. So while I let you ponder a bit about that, I am going to hop on my bed and escape to a place where I can do anything - my dreams. Good night.

------EDIT------

Yes this is true that I am not quite asleep yet, but I figured I should let anyone who reads my blog know that there is a dear blogger friend of mine who has inspired me to keep writing and making my blog look as good as I can. She has replied to this post and given me so much credit and love. So I figured you all should at least go visit, read, and comment on her blog. Please click the pic to visit!